My 40th birthday gift to you

Spoiler alert: It's better than cake!

I’m 40 years old today!!! I just wish you could feel the overwhelming levels of glee and gratitude oozing out of my pores right now. I’ve taken an entire week off to stay at home, love on my people and appreciate this gift God has given me. Clearly, I’m excited but it’s not just because I reached a milestone birthday. It’s because I never thought I could have a life I actually loved. I’m not saying life is perfect. There’s no such thing. But as a working mom, I have been able to find joy, peace, rest, fun and all the other things we tell ourselves we don’t have time for.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago, my life looked completely different. I’d just left a job because I was burnt the heck out from working 60 to 70 hour weeks consistently. My husband and I were like two ships passing in the night. Just keeping the lights on at home by working out tushes off and always talking about date nights but never actually making the time to go on them.

Even though I knew my kids were acting out to get attention, I still struggled to pull myself away from my laptop to be fully present with them. I was addicted to social media because it was the one thing that didn’t require anything from me. It felt so good to zone out and escape all the responsibilities, never-ending to do’s and pressures of being the perfect mom who gets it all done while making it look easy.

It’'ll never be an easy thing to admit but cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to compare my priorities against my actions. I wasn’t living a life that looked anything like what I said I valued. Not because I was a bad person, wife or mother. I was just following society’s definition of motherhood coupled with my own perfectionist tendencies. Being a good mom means being all the things to all the people, right?

I used to believe that but not anymore. Motherhood is about setting an example for your children on how to live the best version of their lives by living the best version of yours. It means:

1. Taking care of not only your physical health but your mental one too

2. Saying no to requests so you don’t overwhelm yourself just to please others

3. Getting enough sleep so you can be productive and focused the next day

4. Asking for help when you need it

5. Taking the time to intentionally plan your day instead of wondering where the time went

In the last 3 years, I have rebuilt my life in a way that gives me more time, energy and fulfillment than I ever thought possible. I enjoy being in the office with my team working on complex problems. My husband and I are spending more quality time together and having the types of deep conversations we used to have in high school. I actively seek out time to play and connect with my kids on a regular basis. I even have a strict bedtime of 9:30pm on weekdays. And I’m excited to help other moms do the same (actually, better…).

If you’ve been here for a while, you know I love to give gifts. So, since I can't take you out to a lobster or steak dinner tonight, I'm offering you something that lasts a lot longer than a full stomach.

To celebrate my 40th year around the sun, I’m offering you one free 40-minute coaching session for any time management or work life balance conundrum that's coming up for you. This is only for the month of April and based on calendar availability so secure your spot before they’re gone. I have one client spot opening in May so here’s an opportunity to see if we’re a good fit.

 

Here’s what one client had to say:

Before working together I was struggling with balancing career, home life and determining career direction. Now, I am less stressed, I am actively working on building a better working relationship with my Sr. Manager, and I am incorporating others' ideas into my projects as it relates to the project schedule. I am spending more time with my family versus doing work, I am focusing on my health by walking more, and I feel more rested.

You provided easy suggestions that could be implemented quickly into my daily life routine that helped me reduce the stress in my life along with improving my work life balance tremendously. You also asked specific questions that forced me to dig deep and think about why I do certain things. Getting to the root cause of the particular issue actually helped me pivot to fix the issue. I cannot think of anything that could have been improved. Your personality was great and we worked very well together. You were truly an asset in the improvement of my work life balance.

- Arshima R, Senior Project Manager

Now, I’m off to stretch as I suspect a party is happening today. A girl might have to bust a move. Pray for my knees and I’ll pray you have a beautiful and restful week. Until next time, live and be WELL!