The Power of Not Knowing

The most underrated skill you have

I’m turning 42 in a few days.

Birthdays always pull me into deep thought.

And this year, something strange came up.

I’ve always loved a good mystery.
As a kid, when I wasn’t reading Nancy Drew, I was watching Murder, She Wrote, Matlock or Colombo. Looking back, I was a bit obsessed but I didn’t realize why until now.

I didn’t speak much as a kid.

So quiet the nuns called my mom in, worried about how little I talked.
She asked, Is she doing the work? Is she answering when asked?
They said yes.
To which she responded, “sounds like a good student to me”.

God bless the moms who let us be ourselves.

So I stayed quiet.
But I watched everything.

How people reacted to certain words.
How tone didn’t match body language.
How emotion sat underneath every conversation, just waiting to be seen.

For most of my life, I thought I was just observant.
But recently, I asked God to show me my true gifts.
The ones I’m meant to use to serve His people.

And this thought dropped in:

Your love of mystery and your strength in reflection are the same thing.

Reflection is a form of investigation.
It’s not passive. It’s not quiet.
It’s curious.

We think reflection is about slowing down.
But it’s really about leaning in.

You don’t reflect unless you’re curious enough to ask why.
Why do I feel this way?
Why did that moment stay with me?
Why does this keep coming up?

Curiosity is easy to spot in kids.
We praise it, encourage it, celebrate it.
But no one compliments an adult for being curious.

We’re expected to know.
To have answers.
To perform certainty.
And we spend a lot of energy pretending.

But the truth is, the people I admire most are the ones who stay curious.

Who can say I don’t know and not flinch.
Who follow the winding road without rushing the ending.
Who let themselves get lost because they trust they’ll find home again.

That’s what reflection feels like to me.
Like signing up to wander for a while.
Connecting dots as you go.
Learning more about yourself, and about God, with every step.

If you’re in a season where you don’t have the answers
Good.

Ask better questions.
Be brave enough to say you don’t know.
Be curious enough to keep going anyway.

And trust that God will bring you home.

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Journal Prompt

What’s something in your life right now that feels confusing, heavy, or unclear?
Instead of trying to fix it, sit with it. What questions are rising to the surface when you stop needing answers?

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Thanks for reading! I’m an imperfect girl serving a perfect God, helping women trade busyness for obedience and burnout for peace. If you’re ready to make space for what matters, my journal, coaching, or workshops are a good place to start.

But even if you’re just quietly nodding from the sidelines, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re here.