The Self You’ve Been Saving
Maybe it’s time she came out
🎥 Don’t miss the video at the bottom. I wouldn't normally pair a helmet with a romper but in this case, it works...We all play roles.
The calm one. The organized one. The peaceful one. The one who keeps it all together.
But does anyone really know who you are?
Not the 9 to 5 version.
Not even the “with family and friends” version.
I’m talking about the full spectrum.
Your inner thoughts, your quirks, your contradictions.
The loud laugh. The nervous energy. The girl who sings at the top of her lungs in traffic.
Do the people you love get to see her?
My Birthday Made Me Wonder
This year, for my 42nd birthday, my husband created a day that were for so many different parts of me.
First: spa day.
Calm. Quiet. Plush robe. Essential oils.
The “presentable” version of me. The peaceful one I’m known for.
The one who sells journals, leads coaching calls, and looks like she has life figured out.
But that’s not the whole me.
Then: surprise part two.
He pulls up to iFLY indoor skydiving.
My brain: What are we doing here?
My soul: LET’S GO!!!
It was thrilling. Not just because I’ve wanted to do this for years or it involved wearing rompers.
It was exhilarating because my kids got to see me scared. Nervous. Giggling. Alive.
They got to see a side of me that’s so different than the day-to-day sometimes allows.
How Many Sides Do You Show?
The day before, over pastries, I talked with another mom.
She admitted: “My kids don’t really get to see my silly side. Or my adventurous side. I don’t know… it just never comes out.”
That stayed with me.
Because I’ve made it a point to show my kids as many sides of me as possible.
The quiet.
The goofy.
The driven.
The disappointed.
Even the petty (yes, I said it).
Why?
Because I want them to know me.
Really know me.
And because I want to give them permission to be all of themselves, too.
It's Not Just About What We Do. It's About Who We Let Them See.
When I step back and reflect on whether I’m living a good life, I don’t just ask:
“Did I do enough?”
I ask:
“Did I show up as my whole self?”
Did my kids see me bounce back from disappointment like when I planned a workshop for 10 and only one person came?
Did they see me learn something new and look ridiculous doing it like when I tried to follow the Maps (tiktok) dance?
Did they hear my real opinions like when I blurted out something a little too honest about their friend's behavior, and had to circle back later with a “That definitely wasn’t my best moment”?
Did they see me being human?
Because if they did then I’m doing something right.
Don’t Hide the Dwarfs
Remember, Snow White? Or moreso, her tiny tag-alongs?
We all have our own little dwarfs inside us: joy, sadness, sass, creativity, tiredness, courage, humor.
Some we show the world.
Others we tuck away.
But what if the ones we’re hiding are the exact ones our kids need to see?
What if modeling full presence (not perfection) is what raises the most grounded kids?
What if showing our full selves is what actually brings the deepest love?
That’s what I want.
That’s what I’m choosing.
Not just for me, but for them.
Journal Prompt
What part of yourself have you been hiding? And what would it look like to let it out (just a little) this week?
Thanks for reading! I’m an imperfect girl serving a perfect God, helping women trade busyness for obedience and burnout for peace. Did I mention that we’re doing it with a side of fun and saving room for dessert too? If you’re ready to make space for what matters, my journal, coaching, or workshops are a good place to start.
But even if you’re just quietly nodding from the sidelines, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re here.